RUBIN

November 13 8 pounds

gorgeous photography by my doula and photographer, Brooke Collier of Sister Birth

Originally published @ Sprout & Blossom Birth with lots more images!

Today is my 33rd birthday, and my sweet Rubin will be 3 months old tomorrow. My how time flies. It’s time to share his birth story!

My first birth, 3 years ago, was relatively quick (11.5 hours from the first “cramp” to Linden’s birth, about 5 hours of active labor/pushing). I was expecting my second birth to be faster, but had no idea how fast it would be…

I had very minimal early labor crampy contractions on a Monday early morning for a couple hours, again the following morning, and was fully expecting the third day to turn into something more significant. Instead, Wednesday I didn’t feel a thing. So I waited…Thursday, a few cramps in the early morning again, very spread out with snoozes in between. And then Friday, it happened again starting at about 4am, but this time, it didn’t stop. Still very spread out and hardly noticeable, but something was different.

Peter, my hubby, was supposed to go down to Kalamazoo (an hour from our house) for a 9am meeting. I told him that if I was still crampy at 7:45am, then I didn’t feel comfortable with him going. At 7:45am, I asked him to stay home. He wasn’t very pleased to cancel his meeting, because I really wasn’t in labor at all, but he understood my unease, and did his meeting on Zoom at 9am (thanks pandemic for these systems being easily in place). During his meeting, I made breakfast and Linden and I started eating together. Peter came into the kitchen at 10am, as soon as his meeting was done to check in on me. I told him I was still crampy, and that maybe we could call them contractions now, but definitely still early labor. He asked if I had timed them, I said no. So I timed a few. They were 1 minute long, and 4-5 minutes apart. But in terms of sensation, I would not have called them active labor contractions. I told Peter to get going on setting up the birth pool, since it takes a while.

At 10:30, I all of a sudden didn’t want to finish my food, and I am NOT one to leave breakfast half-eaten. By 10:42am, I started a group text to notify my birth team that I was having some early labor stuff going on and that my contractions were getting a little stronger. Within a couple minutes, I called my doula Brooke and said, “I just felt like I needed to call you, I’m not sure why.” While I was giving her an idea of how I was feeling, I had another contraction and when it was done said, “I’m feeling kinda overwhelmed and shaky, but I don’t know if it’s time for you to come yet or not.” She said that I sounded like I was in labor, and suggested that she pack up and start making her way over. I told her there was no big rush but that I was ok with her coming. At that point contractions were 2 minutes apart…

At 11:01am I got off the phone with Brooke and updated my whole birth team that Brooke was heading over soon but that “it doesn’t feel like insanely active labor but I’m needing to focus pretty intently.” Then I ran upstairs to change into my “cute” birth clothes since you know, I care about such things. I changed out of my junky t-shirt and into my pretty bra, and then went to the bathroom to pee. As I was sitting down onto the toilet at 11:05am, I had a big contraction and my water broke into the toilet! I immediately texted everyone to come right away, because I KNOW HOW THIS GOES WITH SECOND BABIES. There was also some greenish meconium in the fluid, so I called my midwife Jen to talk through that. She assured me that mec on its own is not something to worry about, and wondered if I was feeling the baby move. I kinda freaked out because I hadn’t felt him in a while, or hadn’t noticed because contractions had gotten more intense. I couldn’t focus on whether he was moving or not, I could only focus on my contractions. Jen said that she would be there soon to check on the babe, but that I needn’t worry. I went downstairs and labored in the foyer on my birthing ball next to the birth pool, that I asked Peter to start filling.

My birth team arrived between 11:15am and 11:45am. First Melissa, my bestie who was there for support and to care for Linden’s needs, then Brooke, my doula and birth photographer, then midwife Jen, student midwife Kelsey, and midwife Jenn. When Jen arrived, she listened to the baby’s heart and everything sounded great. I was relieved, and so thankful.

I got into the birth pool at 11:45am, and things were very intense. My body was starting to involuntarily bear down, and I was involuntarily breathing down through each one. It was much more natural and bearable than it felt with Linden, I think I was less overwhelmed. At one point, I had a HORRIBLE contraction that made me feel like something was wrong. I desperately looked to Jen and she whipped her mask off, locked eyes with me, and talked me through it. I asked to be checked to make sure I was dilated because my body was pushing and it felt awful. She checked me carefully, and I had an anterior lip of cervix (being smashed between the baby’s head and my pubic bone - explains that horrific sensation). Jen encouraged me to breath through the next contraction and to attempt not to push with it to let the cervix melt away. It did, thank the Lord, because that was the craziest minute of my life. As soon as the lip was gone, pushing felt AMAZING. It was 12:09pm. Honestly, I was blissfully smiling between most of the contractions, and as the baby’s head crowned, I had my hands on my perineum allowing his head to bulge more and more into my hands with each push. It was incredibly empowering. I was fully in my body, but also fully able to appreciate each progression. While I was in the pool, there were multiple times where I felt his little body JOLT downwards, It was so crazy. So cool.

Linden was playing and coming in and out of the birth space throughout the labor, like it was just another day. Melissa would tell her that her mama was strong and working hard. After one of those horrible contractions when I was probably screaming, I heard Linden say “wow, mama must be working realllllly hard on that one.” At another point close to the end, when I was very vocal during a push, I heard her say, “I think my baby brother is going to be born soon.” She was right. After a few more pushes, his head was born into the water, and his hair swayed in my hands. My contractions stopped, and there I was with a head between my legs. Each second felt like an eternity, and I kept asking the midwives if all was ok, or if I should change positions or get out of the pool. They assured me that he was ok, that this wasn’t too long, and that I could follow my body and do whatever I felt like I needed to do. His shoulders were wiggling inside me, which felt strange and I think I said “will you please just come out?!” Without much thought, I stood up and hopped out of the birth pool, head in my hands hanging between my legs. A contraction started as I crouched onto hands and knees, John Rubin Scott (Rubin) was quickly born into Jen’s hands at 12:25pm.

She passed him through my legs to me. He was pale, his tone was not good, and he wasn’t breathing well yet. I asked Jen if he was ok, and she assured me he was going to be fine as she gave him some extra oxygen and encouraged me to touch him and talk to him. I tickled his feet, rubbed his sweet body, and told him that I was his mama and was so happy to meet him. I didn’t feel scared, and Jen kept telling me that he was looking better, doing better, etc. The amazing thing about my midwifery team is that they simultaneously do what needs to be done to ensure everyone is safe while also reassuring the birthing person. I wasn’t left there to wonder if things were ok or not, and felt fully part of my own birth story. I was both physically and emotionally cared for, and I am so thankful for that. Within a couple minutes, my sweet babe looked great, was pink, had good tone, and was breathing well. The whole time, he was attached via his cord to my placenta and its oxygen supply (shameless plug for homebirth!).

It was then that I could really take him in, and feel the emotion of him having arrived. I sat next to the birth pool with him in my arms for a little while, catching my breath. Linden came in from the living room to meet him, she had watched the whole thing. I got back into the birth pool to enjoy the warm water with my new babe. At one point, I asked what time it was and was shocked that my labor was less than an hour and a half. While in the pool, I let Rubin explore my nipple, though I don’t think he latched until a little later. I birthed my placenta with a bit of effort and it went into a glass bowl beside us. I had specifically asked for as much “clinical looking” equipment, like the pink placenta bed pan to not be in my sight. Ha. While the placenta and Rubin were still attached, Peter held Rubin for the first time as I got out of the pool and settled onto the couch. Jen checked me for tears—nothing worth noting! The next couple hours we moved from the pool to the couch to the bed, enjoying him as the birth team took care of cleaning up the birth space. Brooke got me some food (and later made me a placenta smoothie). He latched for the first time (Linden didn’t latch till 18 hours after birth…).Once up in bed, I continued nursing. Eventually we did a cord burning ceremony using candles made by Peter’s sister, Betsy. Peter was having a hard time burning the cord and managing Linden, so we “cut” it short, and ended up cutting the cord. :) The midwives did a newborn exam, and all was healthy and well. Rubin was exactly 8 pounds, almost a pound heavier than Linden was when she was born. He was 20.5 inches long. Linden enjoyed watching everything unfold, and calmly sat on the bed with us. Melissa was interested in the whole process and held space for us, all while caring for Linden. I’m so grateful she was there. At one point, Brooke’s newest baby Agatha joined us so that she could nurse, and it was fun to have two babies (both born in the same birth pool) in the room. I had such a wonderful support team. Kelsey was feeding me droppers of AfterEase Tincture (that stuff is magic). By the time everyone left, besides a sore tailbone, I could not believe how amazing I felt.

Welcoming John Rubin Scott at home was one of my favorite days.