Deacon
January 13 10 pounds 5 ounces
Our third baby.
Wow. We felt a mixture of what on earth did we do and warm fuzzies when we found out we were expecting again. Nausea set in at 6 weeks and lasted well into 22ish weeks. 26 weeks I felt great for a week, got sick with COVID, and had a hard time getting my energy back after that. Our holidays were spent preparing and full of anticipation. I didn't dare prepare too early because I knew I'd get stuck being bored so I tried to leave myself fun tasks to do in the last weeks.
The new year came, the 3rd of January (our due date) passed, no surprise there.
My attitude took a dump and I was struggling to stay positive. Even though I expected to go late, walking through it was still a daily struggle. Ryan went between comforting me and giving me the kick in the pants I needed to buck up and deal with it. One day he was stopping by the store on his way home from work and asked me if there was anything he could get that could make me feel better. I said a baby (rather sarcastically) and he didn't miss a beat and asked what color. The girls were listening in and thought we were getting a black baby. The girls were so patient and excited. It was really a long time for them to wait and it was so nice to finally tell them any day now. Only God knows for sure, but it's definitely any day! The Sunday before Deacon's birthday, I really just had a rough day, my mind just was in the gutter. I had a really coming to Jesus moment, prayed, pouring my heart out asking for strength to make it thru the last days.
2 days later on Tuesday, I texted my doula friend nonchalantly, hoping she'd give advice without me directly asking. And she did! She suggested the Miles circuit and recommended I wait until Ryan was home to watch the girls so I could do it without interruption. I watched the videos and it didn't look too hard. Haha, doing the moves was another story. Partially thru the second set out of 3, I started crying, how on earth would these ridiculous moves make any difference? Ha again. I finished all three things half-heartedly and went to bed. Now, for over a week, contractions would start in the evening, and be timeable, I'd go to bed and they'd stop. So I was so tired of that happening. Thinking I'd wake up in the middle of the night having a baby! So often I look forward to the mornings as a new fresh start. Those days I would begin my days in tears yearning for labor. And Ryan would text me to cheer up, I had so much to be thankful for. The next morning, Wednesday, January 13, I had slept thru the night (God was so merciful). About 5:45am I got up to go potty. Got back in bed, laying there, I felt a pop in my pelvis. It definitely wasn't bone, I was familiar with that in later pregnancy my hips and pelvis were so painful, I couldn't pull my snow boots off.
I laid there thinking about that pop, and decided to get up and see if any water came out. Liquid started coming before I could sit on the toilet, but I wasn't convinced yet. So I went downstairs, and before I reached the bottom step, more fluid leaked out. Then I knew. The time was near. No contractions yet, but I knew, hopping in the shower might urge contractions to start so that's what I did..I had 20 minutes before Ryan would be getting up for work and needed to know whether to stay home or not. 20 minutes later, in the shower, contractions started. Ryan came in and said, "what are you doing??" To which I joyously replied: "I'm having a baby!!" He said "seriously?!" I could hear in his voice he was trying not to get too excited yet. So he stayed home and got stuff around, like the birth pool. Jessa woke up at 7:15, a little early and we decided it was best for the girls to go to Grandma's right away in case things progressed quickly, which we expected might be because of Jessas birth being closer to 5 hours labor. Ryan's family are dairy farmers so they're up early and were keeping watch on the house so they knew he didn't go to work. Once we got everything ready, we sat and watched TV. Contractions were still coming, regularly and a little uncomfortable but I could just sit on the couch thru them. I was keeping Jenn and Dorothy informed.
About 9:30am I could feel the intensity of contractions picking up.
Exciting. I told Jenn and Dorothy I knew I wanted them to come soon, but not yet. Keeping in mind Jenn had over an hr of drive time to get to us. I think it was before 10am I thought, now, it's time to start coming our way. I was pacing and leaning on Ryan every contraction. They were getting harder and painful. Dorothy arrived about 10:30am and took vitals. I was trying to stay out of the pool for as long as I could bear. She caught me looking at the pool and knew I wanted to get in, so I did. That helped a lot. There was so much pressure in my hips and lower back it was hard to get comfortable. More intense than I remember Jessa was, and I had to push harder. (No wonder considering Deacon's size.) Jenn and Kelsey arrived around 11am and soon after we were in full on baby pushing mode. Ryan was holding my right hand and Kelsey held my left. Kelsey would release my hand until the next contraction.... Later I realized how tight I was gripping when I let go of Ryan for a minute and my hand was tingling. Poor Kelsey! I was so thankful for her hand to hold! It felt lopsided only holding one hand, and having a hand on each side really made a difference. I had a cool washcloth on my forehead, in some pictures is still there after Deacon was born and I wish it wasn't, it's not that attractive. Lol.
It felt like I was pushing for a long time with no progress, Jenn was coaching and finally she said "good, that's it, that's good progress." I thought "thank goodness, it's about time!" Haha. After that I could feel his head getting closer and it was so encouraging. Once I could feel the stinging I knew I could do it. We were SO close.His head was born, and I knew just a little squiggle more and he'd be in my arms.
What a feeling of relief knowing the hardest work was done. He was born at 12:17 in the afternoon!
The magical feeling came in 3 waves.
The first was holding our baby, relief and awe at what a miracle birth and babies are. I couldn't wait a second longer and a peek between the legs I tearfully exclaimed to Ryan it's a boy!! That was a shock after 2 girls. To look at his face and tell him was so special. Pretty sure there wasn't a dry eye in the room. The 3rd wave was just a minute later my ears tuned into what song was playing from my handpicked birth playlist. Death was Arrested was the song and the line I tuned into was "oh Your grace so free, washes over me." I started crying even more at that. It was so true. God's grace was so present with us at that moment.
Newborns are always newborns, but we had a huge one. I guessed over 9 lbs. Hahahaha. Deacon weighed in at 10lbs, 5oz. 22 inches long. Full head of blonde hair. Now at almost 6 months old, he's already had his first haircut! At 9 months he's at haircut number 4 or 5. His cord was around his neck when his head came out, but no complications. I think the most amazing thing is that he was my biggest baby at birth, and I didn't tear at all like the previous 2 births. God is so good! It was a night and day difference for recovery. Jenn & Dorothy were just as excited as I was that no stitches were needed!
We're a little slow in notifying family, we let them know baby was here and things were going good. We wanted big sisters to know before anyone else, and they were so excited! We did send a picture out and Ryan's brother said the baby looked like a boy! We agreed. He sounded husky like a boy. We took it slow with visits and it was a very enjoyable postpartum. For the first time nursing was going well and to this day we're still going strong which is a huge deal being it was such a struggle with the other 2 babies.
Now it's 9 months since Deacon was born. We're still nursing! What a blessing and so special to have this experience with him. Deacon is crawling, standing up and walking along things. Says "mum", can moo and make engine noises. We feel so blessed and are in awe everyday of how precious every life is.